Singapore has an intercultural/inter-racial society, and racial harmony is something she prides herself on. Our social fabric is very delicate, and intercultural conflicts have to be solved with much sensitivity and tact.
Personally, I feel that the first step to effective intercultural communication is to have a clear understanding of the other party's customs, values, accepted behaviours etc. Only when you are able to conduct yourself appropriately before someone of a different culture will you be able to have an effective conversation.
Once, I went for supper with some friends at a popular late night prata shop run by a family of Malays. Halfway through our meal, I saw a Caucasian couple walking towards us, together with a golden retriever on the leash. Dogs are taboo animals to Malays, and of course they were stopped from entering the shop. The couple had some problem trying to understand the Malay waiter's accent and vice versa. The two parties squbbled for very long, and the waiter offered to tie the dog leash outside along the fence while the couple could have their meal. However, the couple was unwilling to do so as they fear for the dog's safety, and insisted that it was alright to bring the dog into the shop. Eventually the couple left without patronizing, and shouted a few unpleasant words they left.
I felt that as Caucasians, they had the culture of "a dog is a man's best friend". They value their dog as if it was their child, hence I was not surprised that they were unwilling to tie their dog outside the shop while having supper. However, I felt that as visitors or immigrants (that I was not too sure of) to our country, they should respect our culture and customs here too. It is in the Malay customs that they see dogs as "unclean" animals, hence they were not allowed in the shop. The Caucasian couple could have compromised by taking away the food instead of eating in, and there was absolutely no need to swear and make a scene too.
To communicate effectively, one has to be sensitive towards certain issues, especially those regarding culture and religion. Also, the fact that both parties could not understand each others' accent well was also a cause for the communication breakdown.
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5 comments:
Hi Jaymie,
In my opinion, the Malay waiter was being very accomodating by offering to put the dog on leash outside the prata shop, since he would not have liked to handle the "taboo animal". He had the shop's and other patrons' interests when he offered to do. I feel that the Caucasian couple was rather unappreciative towards this gesture of kindness and by hurling abuse at him, it showed their inability to accept another culture's differences. The usage of swear words could have been brought on by frustration due to the communication barriers such as their respective accents, and I believe that there could have been more gracious ways to settle the issue.
While they could have gotten used to dogs dining in with them in their home country, the couple ought to have been more sensitive towards other culture's practices when overseas and be more tolerant of ways that are different from their own. Perhaps they feel that as the customers, they are always right, but I agree with you in that they should have respected the local customs and not insisted on their own rights.
A more amicable conclusion to the dispute could have been reached, instead of creating such an unpleasant scene for both parties, if the couple had just agreed to taking an outdoor seat. I am sure the waiter would not have minded if the dog was outside with his owners, since he had already suggested putting the dog on leash outside the shop.
From this, we can see that mutual acceptance between different cultures play a role of utmost importance in a multi-cultural society such as Singapore. Without this tolerance, racial riots would be breaking out every other day, resulting in tragedies like that in 1964.
Cheers,
Xueli
Hi Jaymie,
I feel that the Caucasian couple were behaving very impolitely! Usually as a tourist or foreign residents, we try to conform to the country's social and cultural norms to show respect.
They might be ignorant of dogs being a taboo to Malays, and perhaps did not understand why the waiter was disallowing the dog in. In the couple's shoes, they are worried of their dog's safety if left outside, especially since they were in a foreign country. On the other hand, perhaps the waiter, with the accent, was not able to clearly explain that dogs are taboo to them. However either ways, they could have just be polite and left without letting the situation turn ugly.
Hi Jaymie,
The couple in question are obviously ignorant and are unlikely to be welcome in many local eateries based on the above encounter.
Western societies have bought into the belief that Asian cultures are sub-servient and thus behave disrespectfully to service staff in Asian countries. While the problem have been on the decline due to the increased understanding of Asian cultures, the exceptions still leave a bitter taste in the mouth.
It is apparent that the couple have little to offer for their own lack of empathy other than vulgarities. Such would only serve to make a negative impression and provide less opportunity to reach an amicable compromise.
As seen from the above scenario, intercultural communication cannot be single directional. With the waiter understanding the couple's attachment to the canine, the situation is not alleviated since the couple does not reciprocate.
Cheers!
nic
Hi Jaymie!
Firstly, I really hope such people are an exception. I do not blame the couple for not knowing the relation of dogs to the islamic culture, but having the reasons explained to them, surely it's not too much trouble to be accommodating to others' beliefs!
It was already really compromising for the waiter to offer to handle the dog. Affectionate they may be to their dog, but understanding and respecting a harmless belief does not do them injustice in any way.
They may think that tolerance should apply towards them as well, but being on somebody else' turf, they should know that's not possible. It's the same as when restaurants do not allow pets in.
That they can understand, and yet not this. Biased attitude?
Well, this sure showed me how important it is for foreigners to respect the cultures and practices of the country they are in. =)
Hi Jay,
Due to globalisation and the mixing of cultures, i feel that we should move away from just understanding and tolerating but embracing different cultures. Understanding takes a very impersonal tone and it does not include accepting culture of others. The result is the interpretation of a foreign culture according to what we want to believe and not what the culture actually represent to the natives. Embracing foreign culture allows the mixing and the acceptance of a multicultural world.
From the two sides, i feel that the Malay waiter took the 'embracing' stand while, the Caucasian couple seem to be on the 'understanding' side. Thus, in this situation, the Malay waiter shows a more globalised view than the Caucasians, which is quite surprising as i would expect the Caucasians to be more educated than the Malay waiter. It seems that education has not done much good after all!
Eugene
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